This thread is invaluable, I will be eternally grateful to Dave, the mods and everyone who keeps it going, it has been a lifeline to me this year. At long last I feel as if I have turned a corner and today I am full of compassion for my DH and the dreadful situation he put us in. We've been together 32 years but I never realised how different his brain worked. He had often said life was wasted on him or that he felt like a robot and I had no concept of the implications only thinking he was a bit down because he perked up again quite quickly. Anyway through an exceptional therapist for me (I couldn't find one to take him on) we have been able to reach him, save our marriage and make decisions to protect his and our daughters future for when I am no longer here. Not that I'm dying 🤪 you're going to have to put up with me for a bit longer yet.
Now to ring MIL and see if she is ready to have a different relationship with her estranged son. 😬
Not the best weekend - bank managed to lose a £3000 transfer and each bank kept passing the problem onto the other one. The money has now turned up - much to my relief. More importantly DH had a really nasty turn on Saturday night ! He went right off his legs, couldn't stand or move and just kept shaking violently. I had to call an ambulance (told 6 hour wait and to take him to hospital myself - impossible as I couldn't get him to the car). 111 much more helpful and sent the oncall duty doctor who immediately diagnose an infection and vey high temp. He was cross that the ambulance lot hadn't told me to give DH paracetamol . Anyway chest and urine checked diagnosis confirm, given paracetamol and antibiotics and an almost immediate improvement. Superb service. A scary few hours though.
This thread is invaluable, I will be eternally grateful to Dave, the mods and everyone who keeps it going, it has been a lifeline to me this year. At long last I feel as if I have turned a corner and today I am full of compassion for my DH and the dreadful situation he put us in. We've been together 32 years but I never realised how different his brain worked. He had often said life was wasted on him or that he felt like a robot and I had no concept of the implications only thinking he was a bit down because he perked up again quite quickly. Anyway through an exceptional therapist for me (I couldn't find one to take him on) we have been able to reach him, save our marriage and make decisions to protect his and our daughters future for when I am no longer here. Not that I'm dying 🤪 you're going to have to put up with me for a bit longer yet.
Now to ring MIL and see if she is ready to have a different relationship with her estranged son. 😬
I wish 🪄 everyone a day full of kindness ❤️
I am intrigued as my grumpy is getting a lot worse and having tantrums etc now. He’s always been different (and difficult)and forty odd years ago it was just quirky but now he has a brain condition he uses it as a weapon to manipulate everyone. I believe that he is autistic and his Mum made things worse by never teaching right from wrong. She said distraction was the key when children do something stupid or bad ! He gets suicidal thoughts and is quite depressive but we tighten up our tin hats and carry on. When we tried counselling he refused to join in.
This thread is invaluable, I will be eternally grateful to Dave, the mods and everyone who keeps it going, it has been a lifeline to me this year. At long last I feel as if I have turned a corner and today I am full of compassion for my DH and the dreadful situation he put us in. We've been together 32 years but I never realised how different his brain worked. He had often said life was wasted on him or that he felt like a robot and I had no concept of the implications only thinking he was a bit down because he perked up again quite quickly. Anyway through an exceptional therapist for me (I couldn't find one to take him on) we have been able to reach him, save our marriage and make decisions to protect his and our daughters future for when I am no longer here. Not that I'm dying 🤪 you're going to have to put up with me for a bit longer yet.
Now to ring MIL and see if she is ready to have a different relationship with her estranged son. 😬
I wish 🪄 everyone a day full of kindness ❤️
So glad you managed to figure it out in the end! Good luck with the MiL x
MH is difficult to explain, and it can be hard to understand for those close to the situation.
When I was pensioned off, it was both a physical and mental 'melt-down', and although I'm better than I was, I'm still not 'better' eight years later. It's a long haul ...
Rusty I've just been to Sidoli Factory shop Spent £5 (fourp was collecting his fired pottery) Got 24 portion cherry meringue pie 2 x big tubs of pear & apple compote and huge tub of oaty crumble mix
tbw glad you found your money i am wary doing bank transfers and before now have rang bank and told them what i was doing and who i was transferring it to
It takes a lot of courage to own up to MH issues in the family
DH gets very annoyed whenI tell people I went for counselling When our DD had decided she wanted nothing to do with the family i was obvisouly heartbroken Still sad but life has to go on We have DS, DIL and 4 lovely GC
The thread is a wonderful support for either life stories both happy and sad plus money saving too I am glad to be family member of the elite
Well-done snap, I've still not gone to that shop😱. I'm trying to downsize my freezers😬, so I can't go anytime soon 😕. In other news I've just made some more plum pickle to try and run the old freezer down.
It takes a lot of courage to own up to MH issues in the family
DH gets very annoyed whenI tell people I went for counselling When our DD had decided she wanted nothing to do with the family i was obvisouly heartbroken Still sad but life has to go on We have DS, DIL and 4 lovely GC
The thread is a wonderful support for either life stories both happy and sad plus money saving too I am glad to be family member of the elite
I’m the same but sometimes we have to let go for our own health ( you probably know my dd1 did the same). Grumpy just rants and wants his “ pound of flesh” but I just get on with what I still have 😢
What a weekend. For our 36 hours away we spent 12 hours in the car. The M1 is terrible at the minute. They are putting in emergency lay-bys all over the place ( mainly in the lay-bys 😂😂😂😂) and there's 50mph average speed limits for much of the journey. There were traffic jams, accidents and a 1 hour drive from the motorway to our destination along the narrowest roads ever. Pleased to get back last night👍
I'm feeling a bit like The Babe did the other day. That I haven't paid my dues. I seem to get more from this place than I give back at the moment!
Bear with me folks🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Hope everyone is well❤️❤️
Be careful on the M1, DS2 got his first ever speeding tickets doing 57 in the 50mph roadworks!
This thread is invaluable, I will be eternally grateful to Dave, the mods and everyone who keeps it going, it has been a lifeline to me this year. At long last I feel as if I have turned a corner and today I am full of compassion for my DH and the dreadful situation he put us in. We've been together 32 years but I never realised how different his brain worked. He had often said life was wasted on him or that he felt like a robot and I had no concept of the implications only thinking he was a bit down because he perked up again quite quickly. Anyway through an exceptional therapist for me (I couldn't find one to take him on) we have been able to reach him, save our marriage and make decisions to protect his and our daughters future for when I am no longer here. Not that I'm dying 🤪 you're going to have to put up with me for a bit longer yet.
Now to ring MIL and see if she is ready to have a different relationship with her estranged son. 😬
I wish 🪄 everyone a day full of kindness ❤️
I am intrigued as my grumpy is getting a lot worse and having tantrums etc now. He’s always been different (and difficult)and forty odd years ago it was just quirky but now he has a brain condition he uses it as a weapon to manipulate everyone. I believe that he is autistic and his Mum made things worse by never teaching right from wrong. She said distraction was the key when children do something stupid or bad ! He gets suicidal thoughts and is quite depressive but we tighten up our tin hats and carry on. When we tried counselling he refused to join in.
Hi Wendy
Both ADHD and autism has been mentioned but he does not have a formal diagnosis yet. He does have Aphantasia and Alexithymia. Life being wasted on him and feeling like a robot are more to do with how he experiences life than being clinically depressed (I think). He sees how other people react to experiences and realises he doesn't get the full fat version. BUT there are some things which really land with him so we know now to do more of those things and less of the stuff that does elicit much response.
The therapist originally saw both of us and very quickly decided DH wouldn't cope with the intensive work needed but she gave me the support and understanding to help me speak to DH and unravel his thinking.
Hopefully you find some support Wendy, you'd think we would have this stuff sorted out by this age although one of our extremely supportive members took the time to explain how things change as we get older.
This thread is invaluable, I will be eternally grateful to Dave, the mods and everyone who keeps it going, it has been a lifeline to me this year. At long last I feel as if I have turned a corner and today I am full of compassion for my DH and the dreadful situation he put us in. We've been together 32 years but I never realised how different his brain worked. He had often said life was wasted on him or that he felt like a robot and I had no concept of the implications only thinking he was a bit down because he perked up again quite quickly. Anyway through an exceptional therapist for me (I couldn't find one to take him on) we have been able to reach him, save our marriage and make decisions to protect his and our daughters future for when I am no longer here. Not that I'm dying 🤪 you're going to have to put up with me for a bit longer yet.
Now to ring MIL and see if she is ready to have a different relationship with her estranged son. 😬
I wish 🪄 everyone a day full of kindness ❤️
So glad you managed to figure it out in the end! Good luck with the MiL x
Thank you lalli and thank you for your time and support. I'm sure we still have a long way to go but at least it will be together, in the same direction.
Good afternoon, It was a lovely day today I planed on scrubbing all upstairs, managed to get dinner ready, then spent hours on the phone changing car,cat sky & banks upstairs will have to wait until tomorrow now. For a house that looked ckean, it was all superficial, i spent all day scrubbing downstairs yesterday, the grease and dirt in the kitchen was shocking the extractor fan had never been cleaned, it looks brand new now. Hubby had his cystoscopy today, he has to have another biopsy 😔, sorry to hear people going through some very difficult times, but glad ye are getting help, yes this thread is a fantastic escapeism and very knowledgeable when help is needed so thank you to everyone for being there. Hugs to all that need them. Xx
Mental health is something I honestly used to think very little of. Probably cause I never thought it would effect me.
How wrong could a person be.
Glad it's now so well thought of.
I think my attitude to my work has changed my mental health with now never having to travel 5 days a weeks again. The very thought of it will just get me through the weeks.
Freezing up here. The weather has turned. Little miss has put up her xmas tree 🎄 she loves Christmas that one.
Up date on The Range. They are picking up broken delivered furniture and refunding me. I will never use their company ever again. No doubt it will be another 2 weeks before they refund. I did threaten them with the consumer rights act 2015 and a credit card dispute.
Ps took Mr BB shopping yesterday no discounts at all. He was delighted as he just isn't usually interested. Nice to see him happy. Does anyone remember he left his job the last year cause the new owners were frankly garbage. I read last night, it's gone bust, assets to the Crown.
It was always said if hubby left it would fall apart, it did and they deserve it.
I am intrigued as my grumpy is getting a lot worse and having tantrums etc now. He’s always been different (and difficult)and forty odd years ago it was just quirky but now he has a brain condition he uses it as a weapon to manipulate everyone. I believe that he is autistic and his Mum made things worse by never teaching right from wrong. She said distraction was the key when children do something stupid or bad ! He gets suicidal thoughts and is quite depressive but we tighten up our tin hats and carry on. When we tried counselling he refused to join in.
Hi Wendy
Both ADHD and autism has been mentioned but he does not have a formal diagnosis yet. He does have Aphantasia and Alexithymia. Life being wasted on him and feeling like a robot are more to do with how he experiences life than being clinically depressed (I think). He sees how other people react to experiences and realises he doesn't get the full fat version. BUT there are some things which really land with him so we know now to do more of those things and less of the stuff that does elicit much response.
The therapist originally saw both of us and very quickly decided DH wouldn't cope with the intensive work needed but she gave me the support and understanding to help me speak to DH and unravel his thinking.
Hopefully you find some support Wendy, you'd think we would have this stuff sorted out by this age although one of our extremely supportive members took the time to explain how things change as we get older.
Keep posting.
Glad you’re getting somewhere as my grumpy purposely puts a spanner in anything to prevent accurate diagnosis. He’s like a caged tiger at home so generally out most of the time and has erratic mood swings which he blames on his ataxia . We’ve both had counselling before but in the end he intrigued and confused the councillor to the extent I think he was counselling him !! After 46 years together it’s something I’ll keep working at despite his protestations and tantrums, I just have to be extremely thick skinned at times. Stay strong and be brave xx
Good afternoon, It was a lovely day today I planed on scrubbing all upstairs, managed to get dinner ready, then spent hours on the phone changing car,cat sky & banks upstairs will have to wait until tomorrow now. For a house that looked ckean, it was all superficial, i spent all day scrubbing downstairs yesterday, the grease and dirt in the kitchen was shocking the extractor fan had never been cleaned, it looks brand new now. Hubby had his cystoscopy today, he has to have another biopsy 😔, sorry to hear people going through some very difficult times, but glad ye are getting help, yes this thread is a fantastic escapeism and very knowledgeable when help is needed so thank you to everyone for being there. Hugs to all that need them. Xx
I think this is so wrong
When i gave mums flat back me and Aunty H went one day and cleaned every room before handing keys in.
When i had my new bathroom i cleaned all bathroom day before even though it was being ripped out
This thread is invaluable, I will be eternally grateful to Dave, the mods and everyone who keeps it going, it has been a lifeline to me this year. At long last I feel as if I have turned a corner and today I am full of compassion for my DH and the dreadful situation he put us in. We've been together 32 years but I never realised how different his brain worked. He had often said life was wasted on him or that he felt like a robot and I had no concept of the implications only thinking he was a bit down because he perked up again quite quickly. Anyway through an exceptional therapist for me (I couldn't find one to take him on) we have been able to reach him, save our marriage and make decisions to protect his and our daughters future for when I am no longer here. Not that I'm dying 🤪 you're going to have to put up with me for a bit longer yet.
Now to ring MIL and see if she is ready to have a different relationship with her estranged son. 😬
I wish 🪄 everyone a day full of kindness ❤️
This is extraordinary BusyBee. It sounds like life changing stuff....in a good way🤗I will admit to welling up reading it❤️ Wishing you and DH a fresh start with your new found knowledge and compassion.
What a weekend. For our 36 hours away we spent 12 hours in the car. The M1 is terrible at the minute. They are putting in emergency lay-bys all over the place ( mainly in the lay-bys 😂😂😂😂) and there's 50mph average speed limits for much of the journey. There were traffic jams, accidents and a 1 hour drive from the motorway to our destination along the narrowest roads ever. Pleased to get back last night👍
I'm feeling a bit like The Babe did the other day. That I haven't paid my dues. I seem to get more from this place than I give back at the moment!
Bear with me folks🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Hope everyone is well❤️❤️
Be careful on the M1, DS2 got his first ever speeding tickets doing 57 in the 50mph roadworks!
I wondered about this as I was going 50mph and everyone was overtaking me🥴🤔
Be careful on the M1, DS2 got his first ever speeding tickets doing 57 in the 50mph roadworks!
I wondered about this as I was going 50mph and everyone was overtaking me🥴🤔
One of our cars really over reads on the speedo (10% or more), the other only over reads by about 1-2 mph, have to be careful, normally I use the phone sat nav for speed and set the speed limiter at a sat nav speed below 55.
Went to my first contemporary(ish) funeral today - does one send a thank you message?
I wondered about this as I was going 50mph and everyone was overtaking me🥴🤔
One of our cars really over reads on the speedo (10% or more), the other only over reads by about 1-2 mph, have to be careful, normally I use the phone sat nav for speed and set the speed limiter at a sat nav speed below 55.
Went to my first contemporary(ish) funeral today - does one send a thank you message?
I wouldn’t have thought so. Aren’t people usually thanked for turning up at a funeral rather than for being invited?
i got 10 today but knew i wouldnt be top Rosie quicker than me 
