Really nice day here today, lots of sun and just a light breeze.According to the weather forecasters it's supposed to get rather hot in the next couple of days
Post by mhocelitemoneysaving on Jun 14, 2022 11:40:43 GMT
Deadlines - I hate them and even more so now I have very few
Boots - if you have a little used advantage card you have to use it this week to keep your points alive (according to MSE) so I used points and got myself a detangling comb on the main card and on the spare card I got 3 of the RTC antibac hand wash for 25p each.(Also a good time to check if you still have student discount on your card)
Morrisons - if you have a More card check to see if you have a £2 chocolate or sweets voucher to activate - then go shopping before Sunday - would a basic bar count I wonder.
O002 - for the cafenero offer the dates have been shortened so June now finishes early. Use your one and only free drink tab this week or its lost forever
Create all the happiness you are able to create; remove all the misery you are able to remove. Every day will allow you, will invite you to add something to the pleasure of others,or to diminish something of their pains
Quite low stock imagine it’s a knock on of supermarket shortages
I noticed quite a few empty shelves when I was shopping this morning, and the big increases in prices of things, very noticeable if you buy the same things frequently. It's quite alarming how much, percentage wise, they are going up.
Ju#t wish I could get some Nero drinks mhoc. So we have to actually buy things with the points for Boots do we ? Please.
I think its just to show some activity on the card so for me it was the simplest thing - to use points to buy something.
Create all the happiness you are able to create; remove all the misery you are able to remove. Every day will allow you, will invite you to add something to the pleasure of others,or to diminish something of their pains
Post by mhocelitemoneysaving on Jun 14, 2022 15:58:13 GMT
Just realised what is missing this month
Neither of us have won anything via Premium Bonds this month - not one single prize - first time in 18 months that we have got zilch
Create all the happiness you are able to create; remove all the misery you are able to remove. Every day will allow you, will invite you to add something to the pleasure of others,or to diminish something of their pains
MrLalli hasn’t spoken to his mother since his birthday where he didn’t get so much as a Facebook message (and he didn’t want to phone because after 30+ years and actually birthing him she should remember the date).
Her birthday is coming up and then MasterLalli’s is the day after.
There’s a few scenarios that could happen and MrLalli is stressing about what to do.
The options are:
Call her, she’ll probably guilt trip him, then send him money, then send MasterLalli money, then tell everyone how nice it was to hear from him AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME.
Not call her. She’s never called him since he left home 15 odd years ago so it would be out of character for her to call. She’ll probably tell everyone he forgot her birthday and she’s never seen her grandchildren (despite seeing them every other day off he had for the first year of their lives).
The part he’s stressing about is that she’s always sent MasterLalli money and a happy birthday text without putting any conditions on it (unlike with MrLalli) and if he doesn’t call her and she still sends MasterLalli money and a text then he’s going to feel all sorts of things. None of them good.
So does he call her to wish her happy birthday (not for the money, none of us need the money) and then he can at least not feel bad if MasterLalli gets a birthday text/money when he didn’t.
Or does he not call and risk her sending MasterLalli birthday greetings and thus him feeling that MasterLallis birthday was more important than his?
And then to complicate matters, it’s our wedding anniversary a few days after that and he doesn’t want it to seem like he only phoned up to get money (I couldn’t care less. Our first anniversaries she bought us a doormat and an ironing board with all the lines to read between so she can keep her gifts)
I don’t know. I try to stay out of it but seeing how stressed it makes him makes we want to do something and there isn’t really anything I can do
Can he not just text her to say happy birthday Lalli?
It's about time she grew up!
He was thinking of sending her a card in the post and pretending that he thought her phone was broken (and her laptop, and her house phone, and her work computer and she hadn’t written down our address), you know, normal things for someone whose lived their entire life on the internet since the early 2000’s. But that seems to me like just guilt tripping her before she guilt trips him and I don’t think that’s a healthy was to deal with relationships.
He’s worried that if he texts her she’ll ignore the fact that his birthday didn’t exist this year and he doesn’t have the confidence to ask her what happened or argue with whatever version of events is in her head.
It’s made worse by my mother, who has never won any parenting awards, being the only person to post a card this year.
Why is he worried that she'll ignore the fact that she did nothing for his birthday? She didn't 🤷🏼♀️
He can just take the higher ground.
Because he has very low self confidence and she has almost 40 years of experience in making him feel lower than low. He’ll come out of the conversation feeling like it’s his fault she did nothing for his birthday and then also feel bad that he did nothing for hers and then she’ll likely compound it by doing something for MasterLalli who is no blood relation and she didn’t even know until he was a teenager and he’ll just walk away from the whole interaction feeling like he’s a complete failure and it’s taken me almost 10 years to convince him he’s not a complete waste of space but every time he feels like he’s a contributing member of society she knocks him down.
I think he somehow needs to prove he is the grown up in this Lalli.
The other thing he needs to do is protect himself.
What does he WANT to do?
To be honest, we normally send a card in the mail to family members regardless.
We don't send gifts anymore to those that we don't often see, gifts go to the kids and grandkids.
He wants her to feel bad, apologise for the way she’s treated him and somehow become the parent that he needs.
The problem is that she only ever cared about his dad and he was a tool to keep him. When it didn’t work she became resentful and now every time he does anything that might be considered good she reminds him he’s just like his dad and it becomes worthless.
She’s never going to be the mother he wants her to be because she just doesn’t care about him. But he really wants her to. And he can’t just accept her as she is, he has to hope she’ll one day be better
Post by diluvsdiscounts2 on Jun 14, 2022 18:38:19 GMT
Lalli, how long ago was his birthday? How long since he's heard from her? Ten years ago dh hung up the phone on his mum, she is a very toxic person and our lives have been so much better for not having her in it. He never heard from her again, I'm not suggesting Mrlalli should do this but if she brings him down and always has done.....
Post by Enterprise1701c on Jun 14, 2022 18:51:23 GMT
I stopped talking to my father regularly a good few years before he died.
He married the typical wicked step-mother.
When we had a son it seemed to turn her, I suspect she thought father would actually love a grandson. We went and stayed with them once. Every time she got me or my husband alone she would come out with the most awful things about the other, expecting us to believe her. She appeared to be desperate to split us up.
Every time I spoke to father on the phone she would insist he said something at the end of the phone call, a couple of examples of this are that if I didn't lose 8 stone quickly then it was her medical opinion (she was a dentist!!) that I would die. Bear in mind at this point that we hadn't seen them in years and I weighed 10 stone at the time. Another one was that I didn't need to wear my glasses all the time. My optician would beg to differ.
One time we went to see them before they moved out of my childhood home. My father asked me into the bedroom and gave me my mother's engagement ring. I thanked him and made a quick exit before he changed his mind (we were about to leave), but stopped before I went downstairs to sneak a book or two out of the book case. I heard the b***h having a go at him saying he had no right to give it to me as she was going to give it to her daughter. He made no reply that I heard. She was a manipulative ***** and he was eminently manipulable. He believed every word that came out of her mouth. She even lied in the will to make sure her kids got more money, most of which she had already given away to her kids anyway.
I took the hint when I tried calling him, she always guarded the phone and I would hear her say in reply to his question "no-one important".
I celebrated when I heard she had died. I felt absolutely nothing when my father died.
I think what I am trying to say is that, however much he cares, he needs to realise that she will never care. He is only any good for show to her, but he has been the bigger man. He cares for his family and has survived her poison. He has already won, he is better than her. and she may even be a little jealous of what he has.
Lalli, how long ago was his birthday? How long since he's heard from her? Ten years ago dh hung up the phone on his mum, she is a very toxic person and our lives have been so much better for not having her in it. He never heard from her again, I'm not suggesting Mrlalli should do this but if she brings him down and always has done.....
April was his birthday. Before that he was phoning her once a week. She has always used the excuse of not knowing when he’s busy to avoid contacting him first, but then guilt trips him for being busy. Before this job he worked 13 on, 1 off and she was upset that he only wanted to see her in person once a month. Because once a month he wanted to see his children when they were awake and not grouchy
I stopped talking to my father regularly a good few years before he died.
He married the typical wicked step-mother.
When we had a son it seemed to turn her, I suspect she thought father would actually love a grandson. We went and stayed with them once. Every time she got me or my husband alone she would come out with the most awful things about the other, expecting us to believe her. She appeared to be desperate to split us up.
Every time I spoke to father on the phone she would insist he said something at the end of the phone call, a couple of examples of this are that if I didn't lose 8 stone quickly then it was her medical opinion (she was a dentist!!) that I would die. Bear in mind at this point that we hadn't seen them in years and I weighed 10 stone at the time. Another one was that I didn't need to wear my glasses all the time. My optician would beg to differ.
One time we went to see them before they moved out of my childhood home. My father asked me into the bedroom and gave me my mother's engagement ring. I thanked him and made a quick exit before he changed his mind (we were about to leave), but stopped before I went downstairs to sneak a book or two out of the book case. I heard the b***h having a go at him saying he had no right to give it to me as she was going to give it to her daughter. He made no reply that I heard. She was a manipulative ***** and he was eminently manipulable. He believed every word that came out of her mouth. She even lied in the will to make sure her kids got more money, most of which she had already given away to her kids anyway.
I took the hint when I tried calling him, she always guarded the phone and I would hear her say in reply to his question "no-one important".
I celebrated when I heard she had died. I felt absolutely nothing when my father died.
I think what I am trying to say is that, however much he cares, he needs to realise that she will never care. He is only any good for show to her, but he has been the bigger man. He cares for his family and has survived her poison. He has already won, he is better than her. and she may even be a little jealous of what he has.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I was trying to write something comforting when I realised you probably already have any advice you needed and have moved on. It still sucks that people are like that though
I’ve just had an hour of 3 year old absolutely distraught because he woke up sad and he can’t stop being sad. We tried cuddles, talking, counting, finally we decided that sad was in his tummy and after a good few deep breaths feeling his tummy rise and fall (and a really stinky fart) he’s managed to blow out the sad for now and gone straight to sleep.
The other child has managed to ‘accidentally’ roll out of bed three times in that hour and be put back, but she’s very definitely asleep and not grinning 😒
Can you hire a babysitter for an hour so you can take a bath?
I stopped talking to my father regularly a good few years before he died.
He married the typical wicked step-mother.
When we had a son it seemed to turn her, I suspect she thought father would actually love a grandson. We went and stayed with them once. Every time she got me or my husband alone she would come out with the most awful things about the other, expecting us to believe her. She appeared to be desperate to split us up.
Every time I spoke to father on the phone she would insist he said something at the end of the phone call, a couple of examples of this are that if I didn't lose 8 stone quickly then it was her medical opinion (she was a dentist!!) that I would die. Bear in mind at this point that we hadn't seen them in years and I weighed 10 stone at the time. Another one was that I didn't need to wear my glasses all the time. My optician would beg to differ.
One time we went to see them before they moved out of my childhood home. My father asked me into the bedroom and gave me my mother's engagement ring. I thanked him and made a quick exit before he changed his mind (we were about to leave), but stopped before I went downstairs to sneak a book or two out of the book case. I heard the b***h having a go at him saying he had no right to give it to me as she was going to give it to her daughter. He made no reply that I heard. She was a manipulative ***** and he was eminently manipulable. He believed every word that came out of her mouth. She even lied in the will to make sure her kids got more money, most of which she had already given away to her kids anyway.
I took the hint when I tried calling him, she always guarded the phone and I would hear her say in reply to his question "no-one important".
I celebrated when I heard she had died. I felt absolutely nothing when my father died.
I think what I am trying to say is that, however much he cares, he needs to realise that she will never care. He is only any good for show to her, but he has been the bigger man. He cares for his family and has survived her poison. He has already won, he is better than her. and she may even be a little jealous of what he has.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I was trying to write something comforting when I realised you probably already have any advice you needed and have moved on. It still sucks that people are like that though
Thank you, long dealt with. The point is that you get through it and come out the other side. I am stronger for it and I no longer let the opinions and actions of others dictate who I am.
What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare
Cant MasterLalli call her and wish her a happy birthday instead?
If he does then it’s likely she’ll consider it as calling to get money because he typically doesn’t interact with her at all other than a standard thank you letter. In fact he avoids her (and most people, she’s not privileged)